I used to be this happy guy who didn't used to think a lot. used to live the moment, thats it. No strings attached. Nothing to worry about and nothing to be sad about. I love past. The way I was. The way I behaved and interacted with people. They liked me when I was like that. My friends, my social circle my family, I was loved my all. I don't know what different I did then, but I used to this at most of the time the center of attraction. It's not that I miss being the center of attraction but I used to be happy that way and yes of course I miss being happy.
Life used to be simple most of the times and at times when it used to become complex I used to ignore such times and move ahead. Well that was my defense mechanism. And it worked like anything. You do not have to face all the problems in life. You can opt not to face them and they would just pass by.
I wish I could relive those days, perhaps re-create those days. I don't want to be small again because I like being young and being treated like one, but I miss all the small moments that I took for granted then. Why is it that only after you loose something do you realize how important it was for you? Maybe because when you have them you don't need them, but when you don't you become desperate.
There was nothing in my past that I needed and I did not have. I was happy because I had everything I want. I believed in being larger than life. But I guess everything in this world is limited or mortal. Or perhaps occur intermittently. You cannot be in state of mind for your entire life. Things change and they change for a reason. At least that is what I think.
I once owned thing world. Anybody would look at me envy me for I lived my life they way they could only imagine. Like a king. I want my past back.
